Box clever: Places in New York to take your boyfriend, girlfriend or a nun
Where To Take Your Partner in New York City
by Julie Mitchell
New York is so beautiful. In New York, you can be anything you want: a movie star, a jazz saxophonist, the mean lady at the tax office, someone who eats scissors, anything! The world’s your oyster. Why not be in a long distance relationship with me? You technically can’t because I don’t know you, but doesn’t it sound fun? All the longing and passion of the past when people wrote letters, but with more pictures of the food I’m eating and dead birds I find in the street. There’s a lot to look forward to!
I can’t promise a sexual or romantic relationship because I don’t know you and I’m already in one and very happy, but I can open the door to show you what it would be like so you can recreate it on your own with a small doll, or a large body pillow, or even another human if you’re lucky!
What I have for you today is a curated list of all the things I save in my phone whenever I experience a moment of joy or awe in New York and think, “Oooh, I want to show this to my boyfriend when he’s here.” They’re really good because no one who’s ever written a list has been in love before, so that’s my thing. You’re welcome! I hope you have fun whoever you share these gems with: a partner or solo, a nun, or a caterpillar. Love is love!
Roxy Cinema/Jazz Club
I love movies. I love going to the movies. New York has a lot of great movies, and one of the funnest and best places to see them is a mini theatre in the bottom level of the Roxy Hotel. You go down a spiral staircase and are greeted by a huge red velvet circular couch and there’s a tiny concession stand where you can buy popcorn and candy and soda, then a door that leads to a tiny art deco inspired theatre with 118 red velvet seats. This theatre often shows smaller distribution documentaries, first run indie films, 35mm cut classics. They often partner with filmmakers and artists doing premieres, talkbacks, and events. It feels so special and intimate, a real treat. And when you leave, just across the hall there’s a small and beautiful jazz club! A
perfect night.
6BC Park
This one I found from a viral Tik Tok, and when I went I met a girl who also came from the viral Tik Tok. But this was months ago and there were only two of us so I think it’s probably back to being quiet again. This is a somewhat hidden park in Manhattan that has a pond and lush greenery and paths with trellis’ and vining wisteria, but the real crown jewel is a treehouse that has a mini library and tiny windowed alcove with a table for two overlooking the garden. The library has little couch/benches and you can sit and read about the local plant life in the park, poetry, or one of the three guest books people have signed over the years where they share secrets and feelings and wishes anonymously. I sat on a sun drenched cushion for probably 40 minutes reading about people’s loneliness and joys in the city, their confusion in their lives, and a million other emotions. Then I went and sat by the pond while an old golden retriever sunned himself on the rounded stones and I listened to music in my headphones. A rare little plot of nature and solitude.
Eatzy Thai
A little hole in the wall in Queens, this restaurant has a lunch buffet from 12-5 that’s 10 dollars. Let me repeat myself. A Thai buffet for ten dollars. Those words all together form something very beautiful. It’s set up like a railroad apartment, just one long corridor back, the food is in the front after the counter, there’s a few tables in front of cushioned booths that line the wall. The food is delicious and filling and varied. There’s 4-6 main platters of things, then soups and sides. You can go back as many times as you want (a buffet), and they have a lot of alcohol specials and fun drinks like Thai margaritas and iced tea. The bathroom is surprisingly nice, big with flowers and magazines and clean. It’s such a nice little nook. They have French fries which at first you don’t want because they’re not Thai food, the thing you came for, but they actually go really nicely and are surprisingly good!
Noguchi Museum
You’re already in Queens eating Thai food! This is celebrating the life’s work of Japanese American sculptor Isamu Noguchi. The museum is designed and founded by the artist, to showcase his works in an atmosphere that highlights their sense of fortitude and peace. More guided meditation than museum, the works are exhibited inside and out, from big open air concrete covered patios that lead to a garden with benches and trees and water elements, to winding rooms and levels where you can see video exhibits and visit the gift shop. He works with stone on a massive level, and many of his pieces are abstract shapes formed from many different elements, glossy and patient, sitting and waiting for you to observe them. The space is curated perfectly to strike a sense of calm and reverence, and you get a better sense of him as an artist seeing them all together in this layout than you would one or two in a gallery. A really special undertaking that results in a quietly profound experience.
All Night Skate
You’d think this is a roller rink, but it’s actually a skate themed bar. With a huge disco ball, black and white tiled floor and shelves of memorabilia, this bar lets you know right away: I’m fun, you’re going to have fun. A little VIP area with booths, outdoor seating area to smoke weed, dance floor, DJ booth and drink specials - it’s all here. The night I went there was a drag show and if you can go during a drag show I recommend that. Also being high, but I’m sure it’s still fun if you can’t. Go on a Wednesday! If you like crowds go whenever, but there’s something so fun about having a fun place all to yourself. Well, you and twenty other people, but that’s very different than seventy. Perfect for a date and a dance.
KJun
This is a Cajun and Korean fusion restaurant in Manhattan that the tiniest place you’ve ever seen, barely enough room for five tables and an aisle to walk in between, but the food is incredible. Kimchi Jambalaya, spicy okra, some kind of strawberry cube dessert, you really can’t go wrong, but you do need to get the fried chicken. It’s crispy and juicy and has a sauce I can’t explain and the breading is perfect, not cereal crackle breading, thicker yet still crunchy, the fried chicken holy grail. When I went they threw in a pear salad for free, which I wouldn’t have ordered because I was too excited by everything else, but it turned out to be one of my favorite things. Incredible. From the website: ‘The restaurant is Chef Jae Jung’s life experience through food: growing up in Seoul, Korea to spending her formative cooking years in New Orleans. This is her first solo venture.’ It really is something to behold.
The Psychedelic Assembly
This is a psychedelic library also in Manhattan (trying to piece together some nights for you) that has a coffee and tea bar, books about anything you could imagine about psychedelics, and hallucinogens, and so much programming. Dance parties with lasers and paper maché mushrooms, talks from neuroscientists about psychedelics and trauma, trippy art classes, lecture nights with pizza, etc. etc. There’s something for everyone no matter where you are on your journey with psychedelics (love, hate, never tried) in such a cool space that feels like a living room. You’ll know you’re there when you see the neon sign outside that says ‘Ego Death’.
Pine Box Rock Shop
A bar in an old casket factory! They used to make caskets here! But now they just have fun shows. A lot of music and comedy, and the bathrooms are stickered to high heaven. Loud, long and clean, a great stop for the beginning or the end of the night. What some places try to achieve through overdecorating and kitsch, some places just have naturally. Pine Box is cool and fun, not pretentious or overpriced (for New York) just simple, and easy. Great programming, really interesting and unique shows in a backroom where you get no cell service so you’re forced to be in the moment, which includes many metal barrels of alcohol.
That’s the list! I cannot promise you will not die alone (we kind of all do) but I can promise that if you go to any of these places you will have one quiet small moment of joy where you smile to yourself and think, “That was a good list, she was right. I want to Venmo her 10 dollars.” My venmo is @Julie-Mitchell if you get the urge, but otherwise, enjoy life and yourself and wherever
you are. Love ya!
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