WHAT IT’S LIKE TO TRAVEL THE £21 HEATHROW EXPRESS CLASS.
The world’s most expensive train experience, from Heathrow Airport to Paddington train station.
The world’s most expensive train experience, from Heathrow Airport to Paddington train station.
A response to this blog, 'What It’s like to Fly the $23,000 Singapore Airlines Suites Class'.
In 1998, Heathrow Express introduced their train service, the most expensive form of train travel commercially available.
The Express Class carriages are exclusive to the Heathrow Express trains, and go way beyond the prices of regular train services. The interiors were designed, and come with seats. Perhaps most well-known of all, Heathrow Express became the only commercial rail service charging so much.
The experience comes with a hefty price tag. With round-trip tickets costing up to £39, it is completely unattainable for most people. Formerly, the only way for an average person to travel in the carriages was to joylessly purchase a ticket from the machine, cursing the insultingly high prices.
And then I remembered that most of my personal net worth existed in the form of loose money in my wallet. So in August 2014, after splurging a colossal amount of pound coins and a five pound note, I WAS BOOKED ON AN EXPRESS CLASS CARRIAGE TO CENTRAL LONDON!!!
This is my trip.
In 1998, Heathrow Express introduced their train service, the most expensive form of train travel commercially available.
The Express Class carriages are exclusive to the Heathrow Express trains, and go way beyond the prices of regular train services. The interiors were designed, and come with seats. Perhaps most well-known of all, Heathrow Express became the only commercial rail service charging so much.
The experience comes with a hefty price tag. With round-trip tickets costing up to £39, it is completely unattainable for most people. Formerly, the only way for an average person to travel in the carriages was to joylessly purchase a ticket from the machine, cursing the insultingly high prices.
And then I remembered that most of my personal net worth existed in the form of loose money in my wallet. So in August 2014, after splurging a colossal amount of pound coins and a five pound note, I WAS BOOKED ON AN EXPRESS CLASS CARRIAGE TO CENTRAL LONDON!!!
This is my trip.
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I arrived at Heathrow Airport at 7am and was dismissively served by a sullen ticket office employee. I wasn’t promptly greeted or acknowledged – I had almost forgotten that Heathrow Express offers this service especially for their Express Class Customers!
The terminal looks like a harshly-lit indoor car park, and there’s no-one around to help you with your luggage! Still, I was in possession of the orange ticket.
Riding Express Class also includes an invitation to wait in the Express Class Lounge, which is to say the platform. You can do this for up to 15 minutes, so after walking along some corridors and passages, I basically just did that.
The staff walked about not acknowledging people. It’s like they already didn’t care before even meeting me!
I wasn’t hungry, but I’d heard rave reviews about eating a packet of crisps on board that you’d bought yourself…salt and vinegar, cheese and onion, maybe a pricier gourmet kettle brand? Completely bored at this point by listing types of crisps in my head, I realised it was time to board the train!
“Wait there, it’s not ready yet!”
I realised that the staff would not address me by any title. After the security check, I was bundled onto the carriage. I picked an aisle seat as that’s all there was by the time I’d put my luggage on the wonderfully metal racks.
The terminal looks like a harshly-lit indoor car park, and there’s no-one around to help you with your luggage! Still, I was in possession of the orange ticket.
Riding Express Class also includes an invitation to wait in the Express Class Lounge, which is to say the platform. You can do this for up to 15 minutes, so after walking along some corridors and passages, I basically just did that.
The staff walked about not acknowledging people. It’s like they already didn’t care before even meeting me!
I wasn’t hungry, but I’d heard rave reviews about eating a packet of crisps on board that you’d bought yourself…salt and vinegar, cheese and onion, maybe a pricier gourmet kettle brand? Completely bored at this point by listing types of crisps in my head, I realised it was time to board the train!
“Wait there, it’s not ready yet!”
I realised that the staff would not address me by any title. After the security check, I was bundled onto the carriage. I picked an aisle seat as that’s all there was by the time I’d put my luggage on the wonderfully metal racks.
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Champagne, orange juice and coffee are all not offered, but there is a wide selection of torn free newspapers. At this point, the crew members said something through the muffled speakers and an informative video played on a screen.
I picked the packet of crisps out of my rucksack – Prawn Cocktail! – and so, bag in hand, it was time to depart!
It was time to check out what was provided on the flight. Assorted crumbs, advertising supplements from the day’s free newspapers, a safety card and rolling on the floor, a full size empty bottle of Diet Pepsi!
As the train reached cruising speed, I thought about having a drink. Since it was 8.30am and I wanted liquid in my mouth, I plumped for the only drink I had, some still water. I don’t know much about water. No-one confirmed by good taste or otherwise, though a Dutch teenager did ask me if I was going to read the torn newspaper. I unglamorously gulped down the entire bottle at once.
As I settled in, crisps service began, and I ate some crisps. After crisps service, I decided to burn some calories by walking to the toilet. I walked there, used the toilet, and then walked back.
In Express Class, the seats kind of merge together to make it seem like two seats have been put in a place where one big seat could go. When the adjacent seat is empty, you can spread out your legs. I could do this because the Dutch teenager had moved seats. I don’t know how to express this in words. I probably need a poet to describe how amazing this was. I spread my knees slightly, squealing like a little girl.
I spent the next three minutes lounging about in all possible positions.
Throughout the journey, the attendants check on you almost twice, asking to see your ticket and writing on it with a biro.
I picked the packet of crisps out of my rucksack – Prawn Cocktail! – and so, bag in hand, it was time to depart!
It was time to check out what was provided on the flight. Assorted crumbs, advertising supplements from the day’s free newspapers, a safety card and rolling on the floor, a full size empty bottle of Diet Pepsi!
As the train reached cruising speed, I thought about having a drink. Since it was 8.30am and I wanted liquid in my mouth, I plumped for the only drink I had, some still water. I don’t know much about water. No-one confirmed by good taste or otherwise, though a Dutch teenager did ask me if I was going to read the torn newspaper. I unglamorously gulped down the entire bottle at once.
As I settled in, crisps service began, and I ate some crisps. After crisps service, I decided to burn some calories by walking to the toilet. I walked there, used the toilet, and then walked back.
In Express Class, the seats kind of merge together to make it seem like two seats have been put in a place where one big seat could go. When the adjacent seat is empty, you can spread out your legs. I could do this because the Dutch teenager had moved seats. I don’t know how to express this in words. I probably need a poet to describe how amazing this was. I spread my knees slightly, squealing like a little girl.
I spent the next three minutes lounging about in all possible positions.
Throughout the journey, the attendants check on you almost twice, asking to see your ticket and writing on it with a biro.
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And henceforth, I slept. When I woke up, I saw the edges of central London and my heart sank. A little over three minutes to Paddington. I’d slept for five minutes, or almost £9 of the entire journey. So to cheer myself up, I ate some more crisps.
We arrived at Paddington, only a few minutes past the guaranteed 15 minute journey time, and exhilarated by the amount of money we’d just spent. I didn’t want to leave the train.
I have to say, eating crisps at £1.14 a mile in an aisle seat at regular train speeds – I’m not sure train journeys get any more expensive than this. But eventually I got off the train, because, well, they made me. But west London’s not too bad.
We arrived at Paddington, only a few minutes past the guaranteed 15 minute journey time, and exhilarated by the amount of money we’d just spent. I didn’t want to leave the train.
I have to say, eating crisps at £1.14 a mile in an aisle seat at regular train speeds – I’m not sure train journeys get any more expensive than this. But eventually I got off the train, because, well, they made me. But west London’s not too bad.