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CABIN PRESSURE

Review your fellow passengers! We invite you to submit your shared-space traveler stories and we'll publish the best. Our aim is to promote travel civility, considerate to the needs and comforts of those around us on our trains, planes, buses and hovercraft. We're all in it together, after all. Don't be gratuitously rude (and we're obviously not down with any bigotry) but do send us your travel tales. take a look at previous entries for the format and then simply click the button below:

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The Dull Stags: MANCHESTER-BERLIN BY AIR

21/10/2013

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Journey: A short-haul flight.
The scene: I'm in the middle section on my own
Describe your fellow traveller:  A gaggle (staggle?) of pre-wedding dudes from (I am guessing) well-to-do families.
The review: I anticipated a flight of drunken antics, some vomiting, lewdness, perhaps even an unwanted offer of coitus-in-the-airus. Sadly, what I got was one of the most eye-wateringly dull one-hour-and-fifty-minuteses of my life. Once I heard they were on a stag party, I really hoped they'd be entertainingly crude, but I was instead subjected to conversational Nightnurse along the lines of:

STAG A: "Looking forward to it?"
HUSBAND TO BE: "Yeah. We've come in under £6k so that's more than I hoped."
STAG B: "Not bad, not bad. Tim hit £10k but that was mainly because of the catering."
STAG A: "Tony's was £20k but then you'd expect that from him and he did it at
Poshington Park"
HTB: "A lot of ours was the dress. They are really expensive. The dress itself was around a grand but the fittings and appointments cost nearly that again"
STAG A: "Oh right. Going to get some Royal Mail shares?"
HTB: "Yeah probably."
STAG B: "Where's Steve?"
HTB: "Asleep."
STAG B: "I'm going to read my book for a bit."

Verdict: Lads, it was nice to meet you and I enjoyed your excellent personal hygiene but I really hope that on at least one of the mornings, you managed to wake up by the Spree with a condom full of coke stuffed up your Kürfurstendamm. Stag parties aren't meant to be enjoyment on a par with seeing your financial advisor.
Rating: 2/5
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