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CABIN PRESSURE

Review your fellow passengers! We invite you to submit your shared-space traveler stories and we'll publish the best. Our aim is to promote travel civility, considerate to the needs and comforts of those around us on our trains, planes, buses and hovercraft. We're all in it together, after all. Don't be gratuitously rude (and we're obviously not down with any bigotry) but do send us your travel tales. take a look at previous entries for the format and then simply click the button below:

submit your review

Passengers we don't love: Conrad Hilton

3/2/2015

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We got excited when we saw a headline (sans photo) imagining an eccentric, aging hotel mogul having an old-person meltdown on a transatlantic flight. Sadly it wasn't to be, not least because the gentleman in question died in 1979 (it says on Wikipedia). I mean, the rantings of an elderly gazillionaire would at least have had some semblance of quaint charm. Less so when it's just torrents of abuse being distastefully ejected from the mouth of one of his more objectionable descendants, also named Conrad Hilton.

Among the delights from the 20-year old airborne charmer were the following verbal emissions:
- "If you wanna square up to me bro, then bring it and I will f*cking fight you."
- "I am going to f*cking kill you."
- "I will f*cking rip through you."
- "I will f*cking own anyone on this flight; they are f*cking peasants."

According to gossip-monging website TMZ, witnesses told officials that Hilton grabbed a flight attendant's shirt and informed him, "I could get you all fired in five minutes. I know your boss. My father will pay this out. He has done it before. Dad paid $300k last time." The sleepy little lamb then passed out, which was a cue for flight staff to promptly handcuff him to the seat. Reports say he was so out of control and aggressive that children (peasant children, presumably) on the flight were crying.

Recalling the 2002 protests of similarly wealthy flier Peter Buck (of REM fame), a rogue sleeping pill was allegedly the culprit, these little air-rage-bombs apparently the bane of celebrity flying. Buck famously attacked the flight crew on his flight with yoghurt (did any newspapers at the time go with the headline 'Everybody (yog)Hurts"? and if not, WHY not?). Presumably the HIlton millions will keep young Conrad out of official legal trouble, though as to his claims that he "buried" the flight attendants? Sure you did, bro...sure you did. - See more at: http://www.shandypockets.com/blog/conrad-hilton-will-fing-kill-you#sthash.ovxstZyj.dpuf
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Passengers we love: Steve Coogan. Rob Brydon. The Trip to Italy

9/5/2014

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OK, OK, I know we only just posted about CooDon / BryGan a few weeks ago in semi-breathless anticipation of their new series, but now it's almost at an end, we think some remedial appreciation is in order.
The endless (but still funny) James Bond impressions aside, it's been a very different beast to the first season. The power dynamics have shifted, with Rob Brydon in the ascendance, suddenly getting the Hollywood scripts and the young blonde - previously the sole domain of Signor Coogan.
Steve C still gets SOME action, of course (thanks, repeat offender Yolanda the photographer), but they're almost equals now, Brydon with a new strut and a swagger and a much less submissive role as he jousts with Coogan. The most joyous parts, though, are still when they revel in each others' company, egging each other on to do (vaguely obscure) impersonations. Bask in this clip, unseen on TV, but part of the DVD extras:

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Passengers we love: Rob Brydon and Steve Coogan

4/4/2014

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steve coogan rob brydon the trip
Two grown men trade improvisational comedy and impressions as they drive around the more panoramic side of northern England. If you haven't seen The Trip, then we're insanely envious because watching it for the first time...well...is this not happiness? Anyway, here at Shandy Pockets, we're barley able to contain ourselves at the thought of the upcoming sequel, set in rural Italy. Read more about the HERE and delight in the clip, below...

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Yet more actors vie for attention

1/4/2014

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Yeah, we're not really sure about this one. On one hand, what's wrong with some live entertainment to liven up the grinding tedium of boarding your flight? Something to click your fingers and tap your feet to as you jam your carry-on luggage into the overhead locker, carelessly squashing hat boxes and packed lunches.

On the other hand, unless you're a fan of musical theatre, the prospect of being a captive audience as a rogue band of chorus members strike up an unavoidable rendition of a Lion King song might be a worse nightmare than substantial turbulence. All I can say is, see how many people are ACTUALLY applauding outside of the people singing. And the guy on the left at the end looks positively mortified.

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Words of advice for young people

31/1/2014

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Some sage advice from Mr B, The Gentleman Rhymer. See his spiffing full interview HERE.

What do you consider the most important virtues when traveling on any kind of shared transport - planes especially?
Only enter into conversation upon descent into your destination, otherwise one may be left with eight hours of some dreadful bore's life story. I shudder at the very thought. And don't tell the crew you're carrying a musical instrument or they may ask for you to give your fellow passengers a bit of a turn.They may not all appreciate it. I know I wouldn't.

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Passengers We Love: Leonard Rossiter 

16/12/2013

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IN A TIME...when plane travel was still relatively glamorous, and the funniest thing you could do was spill a glass of cheap wine over poor Joanie Collins. Kind of a risky marketing tactic you'd think, given the exotic stylings of arch rivals Martini, but if you're British and of a certain age, these are the ones you remember...

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The Folicle-loving Film Star: CHICAGO O'HARE INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT

27/11/2013

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Journey: A domestic layover at ORD.
The scene: I'm waiting in a small queue to put my things through the x-ray machine at security.
Describe your fellow traveller: A harassed-looking and apparently late John Cusak.
The review: First of all, I'm just putting my things into the trays when some guy cuts in line. I look up, do a slight double take and see it's Hollywood's John Cusak. I like many of his films and he looks inordinately stressed out so I decide to let him go on through. He only has  a small bag, which security pick up on and take a small bottle out of. It's green liquid, just over the regulation size. Security say they'll have to confiscate the bottle. JC does not like this information. He's very late, and now he chooses to argue about the legality of a small bottle of green liquid. He says it's a special kind of shampoo. I have no reason to disbelieve this, but security is standing firm. JC has a choice between arguing for the merits of his irreplaceable shampoo OR heading to catch a flight he is already late for. he makes one more remedial attempt, pulling in all his actorly powers to try and convey how essential this bottle is. Sad to say, not even his hometown security guys can do much for him. He kind of pouts but he doesn't hit diva mode. He runs off into the terminal, shampooless until Hollywood.
Verdict: Minus points for star-jumping the queue, but he remained polite under some (self-inflicted) pressure.
Rating: 3/5

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