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CABIN PRESSURE

Review your fellow passengers! We invite you to submit your shared-space traveler stories and we'll publish the best. Our aim is to promote travel civility, considerate to the needs and comforts of those around us on our trains, planes, buses and hovercraft. We're all in it together, after all. Don't be gratuitously rude (and we're obviously not down with any bigotry) but do send us your travel tales. take a look at previous entries for the format and then simply click the button below:

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Passengers we don't love: Conrad Hilton

3/2/2015

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We got excited when we saw a headline (sans photo) imagining an eccentric, aging hotel mogul having an old-person meltdown on a transatlantic flight. Sadly it wasn't to be, not least because the gentleman in question died in 1979 (it says on Wikipedia). I mean, the rantings of an elderly gazillionaire would at least have had some semblance of quaint charm. Less so when it's just torrents of abuse being distastefully ejected from the mouth of one of his more objectionable descendants, also named Conrad Hilton.

Among the delights from the 20-year old airborne charmer were the following verbal emissions:
- "If you wanna square up to me bro, then bring it and I will f*cking fight you."
- "I am going to f*cking kill you."
- "I will f*cking rip through you."
- "I will f*cking own anyone on this flight; they are f*cking peasants."

According to gossip-monging website TMZ, witnesses told officials that Hilton grabbed a flight attendant's shirt and informed him, "I could get you all fired in five minutes. I know your boss. My father will pay this out. He has done it before. Dad paid $300k last time." The sleepy little lamb then passed out, which was a cue for flight staff to promptly handcuff him to the seat. Reports say he was so out of control and aggressive that children (peasant children, presumably) on the flight were crying.

Recalling the 2002 protests of similarly wealthy flier Peter Buck (of REM fame), a rogue sleeping pill was allegedly the culprit, these little air-rage-bombs apparently the bane of celebrity flying. Buck famously attacked the flight crew on his flight with yoghurt (did any newspapers at the time go with the headline 'Everybody (yog)Hurts"? and if not, WHY not?). Presumably the HIlton millions will keep young Conrad out of official legal trouble, though as to his claims that he "buried" the flight attendants? Sure you did, bro...sure you did. - See more at: http://www.shandypockets.com/blog/conrad-hilton-will-fing-kill-you#sthash.ovxstZyj.dpuf
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Passengers we don't love: Benedict Cumberbatch

27/3/2014

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Picture
OR: No sit, Sherlock
This report just in from cultural watchdogs Popbitch about a case of privilege and kindness gone unrewarded in the heady heights of a first class cabin:

'Getting Benny-dicked around'
Benedict Cumberbatch was on a flight when he told the purser he "wasn't comfortable" and wanted different seat. Although it's hard to think that any first-class seat wouldn't be comfortable, the woman in the seat he wanted didn't mind and agreed to swap.
   
A little later, Benny decided he preferred his original seat. Again, the woman swapped. Not being from the UK or the States, she had no idea who the passenger with ants-in-his-pants was so, emboldened by the free champagne, she asked him. The actor replied that he was the voice of the dragon in the Hobbit films and seemed somewhat put out when she burst out laughing.

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The Entranced Intimidator: LONDON - BANGKOK BY AIR

25/10/2013

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From @RealPeteBell

Journey details: Flight from Bangkok to London (11 hours)
The scene: Me, my wife and a plane full of solo male travellers in their 40s, 50s and 60s.
Passenger description: Male, white, about 60, with suspiciously fresh looking military tattoos.
The review: I was sitting in the middle of a bank of three seats. To my left, in the window seat, was my wife. To my right, in the aisle seat was a single man. Throughout the 10-hour flight, he neither slept, read or watched the telly. He just stared ahead. Occasionally his leg would twitch and bang in to mine. He would then say "sorry", slightly too loudly and slightly too quickly and look at me for a long five seconds. Coincidentally, I found myself unable to sleep, read or watch telly.
Verdict: Petrifying.
Rating 0-5: 0
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The Unsympathetic Husband: KOH SAMUI - BANGKOK BY AIR

8/10/2013

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Journey: A 40 minute flight.
The scene: Half way through the flight, the crew ask if there's a doctor on board and carry a young woman up to an empty row and lay her out. A couple of people attend her and she slowly recovers from what looks like a mild seizure.
Describe your fellow traveller: She's with her Australian husband and a young child, around two years old, who is very distressed.
The review: As the woman regains consciousness, she slowly sits up and tries to comfort her child, who is understandably crying. The husband chooses this time to start berating her angrily. "For f*ck's sake, look at the fuss you're created and ALL FOR NOTHING," he is whisper-shouting. He carries on shouting at her and gets even more annoyed when she can't find her shoes, and is all in all about as shockingly unsupportive and unsympathetic as you can imagine.
Verdict: A terrible human being.
Rating: 0/5
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