Journey: A daytime long haul flight.
The scene: A full premium economy class cabin.
Describe your fellow traveller: Huge middle-aged man. Not obese, just a big old lad.
The review: He crams himself into his seat which, although larger than a normal economy seat, is still barely enough to contain his bulk. It's like trying to fit a sofa onto an armchair. As we take off, he immediately goes to sleep, his leg of lamb arm taking up the entire shared middle arm rest, the sleeping breaths from his nose so strong they almost part my arm hairs. He stays, slumbering for four or five hours, an immovable man mountain, taking up too much room.  Although he's not actively annoying, he's hard to ignore...just...laying there, being large. 
Verdict: Imposing insomniac.
Rating: 2/5

Released in 1977 on the Lust For Life album, this is one of Iggy's best known, allegedly written while winging his way down the S-Bahn in Berlin. And who's that singing back vocals in the chorus? Why, it's little Davy Bowie. POPFACT. The sing has been covered tens of time, most notably by Siouxsie and the Banshees. But we'll go with the original...here set to a video of classic Hollywood moments by someone with much time on their hands...

Journey: An overnight long haul flight.
The scene: A full premium economy class cabin.
Describe your fellow traveller: Well-dressed young man in his mid 20s.
The review: I'm already in my seat and as he sits down, he is immediately getting into EVERYTHING, like a nervous hamster you'd just dropped into a new cage. The flap of safety cards, the buttons on the seats. It's like he can't take it all in fast enough. "What cabin is this?" he asks. "It's...premium economy..." I venture. Turns out he just bought the ticket blindly. The onslaught of very minor extras continue to impress him: The eye shade! The free pen! The metal cutlery! It's actually pretty charming to see someone so unjaded with air travel and who is genuinely happy to be sat where he is, rather than the rest of us, who are seething because we didn't get an upgrade to business. After dinner, I fall asleep somewhat contented. However. He soon gets used to his new kingdom, and starts to spread out, quickly commandeering the shared arm rest. Then he plays video games and excitedly jabs me in the ribs a couple of times with his elbow. Accidentally, but, you know...I was asleep, dude. Look more sheepish when I do the half turn and loud sigh. 
Verdict: Like a playful puppy that wets itself. You
Rating: 3/5, almost a 4, but the jabbing...

IN A TIME...when plane travel was still relatively glamorous, and the funniest thing you could do was spill a glass of cheap wine over poor Joanie Collins. Kind of a risky marketing tactic you'd think, given the exotic stylings of arch rivals Martini, but if you're British and of a certain age, these are the ones you remember...

Aw, poppet. This lacrosse player was traveling with his school and dared to breach the boarding system. All good fun until his coach makes him apologise to the entire cabin. We like how he tries to get away with a quick "sorry" before he gets pulled back and has to go with the entire prepared statement. Life lesson learned? Good, that's all we ask.

You see, folks, THIS is the kind of behaviour we're up against when we share travel space. Passengers are up to ALL KINDS of shenanigans, including, and we quote, "A Russian woman on a flight from Los Angeles to London who drank liquid soap when refused alcohol, and tried to bite a flight attendant." 

Add to this the porn watchers, booze stealers and all-round passenger violence and it's a wonder anyone gets off a flight without being arrested.

Much more on this and more passenger escapades in THIS NEWS STORY.

Qantas never crashed...