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Travel like no-one's looking

2/12/2014

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The key word for this week’s most notable travel stories is: ‘abandonment’.

First off, let’s look at the astonishing nonchalance shown by this British mother, who sneaked off for a routine six week jaunt to Australia to hook up with a gentleman she’d met on the internet. Nothing wrong with that, you might think – single mums deserve internet romance too, and you’d be a fool and a Communist to think otherwise. Right on.

Only there WAS the trifling matter of leaving her six children behind, and not only not that, but telling them that she was “just going to the supermarket” and then hotfooting it to Heathrow Airport. She may technically not have been lying, though granted the supermarket in question could have been in Randwick or Glebe.  

Single mums deserve holidays more than anyone, really – especially with six kids under 14, but conventional channels do tend to result in a few less six-month suspended prison sentences.

The other #brave #travel #hero this week is someone we’d love to have featured in our Passengers We Love blog, but he’d need a section to himself called Passengers Who Love Themselves And Then Try To Escape At 35,000 Feet. In short, this chap was apprehended self-abusing, and he then made for the emergency door.

Again, no judgements here – it’s natural instinct to want to try and play for the Irish goodbye having undergone the ignominy of being caught ransacking your own dignity with nary a thought for your fellow passengers. Just, air authorities do tend to take a dim view of doing that whole “doors to manual” thing while the plane is still an hour from its destination.

We can only hope the Virgin Airlines pilot announced the unscheduled stop as being due to spontaneous onanism. Is there an official airline euphemism for this? Suggestions, as always, are welcome.

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