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I feel the need...the need for...a repeat of the safety demonstration

15/8/2014

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Among the more spurious surveys that pop onto the Shandy Pockets radar was this one, carried out by travel compensation-garnerers, refund.me. Air passengers were asked which characters form the big screen they would like to see in their cabin crew, the winner by a sizable nose (no offence), being the character of Maverick from Top Gun, played by thespianic colossus, Mr Thomas Cruise, esq.

Yes, the majority of the great flying public would choose an emotionally unstable, borderline sociopathic risk-taker with a gung-ho military mentality as the pilot of choice for their charter plane to Majorca. Presumably because he looks good in uniform. Forget your chances of survival and the person responsible for them being one step above Howlin' Mad Murdoch from The A-Team, as long as our man has a winning smile and lustrous hair, we'll take our chances, thank you very much. 

Among the other preferences expressed were Little Leo DiCaprio from Catch Me If You Can (borderline sociopath engaged in massive fraudulence with no formal training but good looking) and Dishy Denzel Washington from Flight (borderline sociopathic substance abuser, albeit a heroic one, though even more albeit: very good looking).

Among the female dream crew were Catherin Zeta-Jones (Terminal), Kirsten Dunst (Elisabethtown) and Ellen Pompeo (Catch Me If You Can), a list containing a noticeable lack of sociopathic risk-takers, partly because you can better imagine being offered chicken or beef by them, but mostly because Hollywood has yet to give out those kinds of parts to women. Who would you like to see showing you how to orally top up your life jacket?

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