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Pizza Rock, Las Vegas, NV.

24/7/2017

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Oh wow, remember Planet Hollywood? What an ill-conceived adventure in negative glamour THAT was. They opened over 100 of these monstrosities, now there are only NINE worldwide all in the usual tourist traps apart from Goa. YES, GOA. PLANET HOLLYWOOD GOA. I’m weirdly for it just because it’s so unlikely.

Anyway. Theme restaurants are a strange beast. Such a fine line between homage and the kind of wanton plundering that results in a tired menu that still somehow charges $35 for a burger to nonplussed spoiled children.

So it’s with some reservation that I approach Pizza Rock, though to be fair, when I mentioned I was going, even locals were giving it the nod of approval, which took the edge off my nerves somewhat.  I mean, I wasn’t NERVOUS. Worst comes to worst: I have some bad pizza and walk away. It’s not a night in Mosul or having to perform an emergency tracheotomy on a toddler or something.

First up, the branch I went to was in the throbbing heart of Fremont (old Vegas for those not up to speed) and I was damn pleased about it, having grown tired of The Strip after about 4.3 hours. Anyway, it was a busy Saturday lunchtime, and as such I had to snake past the lines at the obviously popular counter up front selling take away pies and slices. A good sign already.

As the name suggests, and as it will soon become clear if you’re not paying attention, it’s a music-themed restaurant. That music being rock music, to be completely crystal. “Ugh, I’m leaving for somewhere authentic,” I hear you say. BUT WAIT. What if I told you that the menu is designed by Tony Gemignani, a 12-time world pizza champion and essentially the Pele of pizza? What’s that? You’ll at least sit down and get a taste just out of curiosity? Well, alright then. Good choice.

I sit in a booth to the side of a largish, open plan-ish dining room, and Nirvana is playing and the first thing you notice (perhaps) is that there aren’t a million ridiculous rock artefacts crammed onto the walls and the décor is understated, if you ignore the huge truck with a yellow flame motif in the middle of things and since I’m not facing it, that’s very easy to do.

The staff are on their game from the whistle, even though there are tens of tourists needing things. One such tourist deigns it OK to wander over to my table and ask, apropos of nothing, “Hey buddy, where’s the best seafood buffet in town?” and I don’t know and feel sad I can’t help him but pleased I don’t say something sarcastic about Google.

The menu is a delight in two ways. First of all, it’s designed like a gatefold sleeve LP (ask your dad) which to me is a reassuringly visceral reminder of my vinyl-loving teenage years, when you weren’t a hipster just because you had a record player, you were just a normal person.

Secondly, when you open it up, it’s like a mini-encyclopaedia of pizza. There’s every kind: New York, Neopolitan, Roman, Californian, Chicagoan, Sicilian…you’re not going to be disappointed with the choice, is what I’m saying. DETROIT! I didn’t even know Detroit HAD a style of pizza!

I really wanted to try the limited edition (only 23 made daily) Sausage and Stout pizza but it was for two people and even my gluttony doesn’t stretch to eating that for lunch and dinner for the next two days. I went with a classic Italian Diavola, and was talked into some Calabrese-style (for which read: spicy) calamari and a chop salad, which was a BEHEMOTH that I actually did end up eating for two more days.

As much as I was ready to tolerate this place as another lazy nod at a theme, the trappings are the least interesting thing about Pizza Rock. The freshness, specificity and innovation behind the ingredients is as impressive as any artisanal joint in your town’s hippest neighbourhood, and this holds for their cocktail and beer programme, too.

What can I say? For those about to Rock, I salute you. If only I could work out why that guy thought I would know about seafood buffets. Oh, well. GREAT PLACE WOULD ROCK AGAIN.  

Pizza Rock currently have five locations and you can find out more at the  
PIZZA ROCK WEBSITE
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Is this Central London's best value hotel?

7/7/2017

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London's best value hotel
I lived in London for 15 years from 1997, eventually fleeing when intimidating rental prices started baring their teeth and my more successful friends moved to the more residential outer zones to raise their families. These days, I’ll stay on their commodious sofas or I’ll heartlessly have their children evicted from their bedrooms to share with their siblings so I might lay my head down when I visit from my new home of New Orleans.

Whenever I’m in London, though, part of me longs for those carefree, central London, knockabout days lolling around the West End and the South Bank and whichever bits of East London were deemed unfashionable enough for me to be able to go there without triggering too many self esteem issues.

Cheap central-ish hotels, then, are something I’m always looking for. Historically, I’ve done several of those weird oversized BnB-converted townhouses that you get in Paddington and Victoria and the like. They always have names like “The Buckingham” but then the interiors are always way less than regal than you’d think and they all have weird refitted corridors with too much wood panelling everywhere and lost exchange students around every corner looking for the lift. 

I even stayed in a newly-trendy youth hostel in newly-unaffordable Elephant and Castle and that was OK, but not befitting a man of my advanced, definitely non-youth years.

The last couple of years, though, I’ve returned to the same place about four times. It’s not exciting, it’s not hip, and it’s not hard to find. It’s a short walk to some of the city’s highlights, and only a short bus ride into the West End. It’s clean, modern, with full facilities and a good breakfast buffet and you can get rooms here for less than £60 a night if you do it somewhat sneakily.

Yes…it’s…drum roll…try to contain your excitement…the Holiday Inn London Commercial Road.

I know, right?

Here’s why I like it.

It’s new. It still has that new hotel smell and the staff are super perky and helpful and have genuine smiles or at least are expert fakers.

It feels central but local at the same time. There’s a market across the road with stalls selling Indian fabrics and veg and fresh fish and there’s a good local chip shop, but ten minutes away is The City being all The City about things.

It’s on a good bus route into Central London and there are two tube stations within a couple of minute’s walk: Whitechapel and Shadwell.   

It offers discount add-ons that you can pay for in units, such as late check-outs and movies and breakfasts. The fast wifi is free.

OK, it’s technically in Zone 2, BUT it’s as close to Zone 1 as makes almost no odds whatsoever and with the skyscrapers of The City looming over you, it definitely feels like Zone 1. You can walk a couple of minutes and BE in Zone 1. For less than £60 a night.

Now then. Less than £60 a night is not the published rate. But here’s how you do it.

​Priceline offer a range of ‘Express Deals’ on their website, where they offer heavily discounted hotel rooms but they don’t reveal the name of the hotel until you book. Click on this tab after putting in your dates for a London stay. Next, filter the results by ‘4 star’ rating and ‘East London-Islington-Hoxton-Shoreditch’ neighbourhood. That should result in only a handful of options, one of which should be a 4-star hotel for £60/$80 or less per night. That’s the Holiday Inn Commercial Road because there aren’t any other four-star hotels in the neighbourhood for that price, so there shouldn’t be any surprises (once you’ve booked it once, Priceline even gives you this message: “Hint: You’ve stayed here before!”). One important point: the prices are higher during the week as they have business guests, but at the weekend I’ve scored two nights for around £100 using this method, which is a good deal in London no matter how you slice it.

Beyond any credit card points promotion or seasonal deal, this is the best value hotel room I’ve personally seen in London. Granted, there are lots of cheap hotels in London I’ve never stayed in, and I’m very happy to be proved wrong. Send me an email if you know better, but for now, this is definitely my go to. 
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