Poor The Tourism Authority of Thailand. They should really stop trying to Make Social Media A Thing for them. After the perma-cringe of I Hate Thailand, which itself followed the bizarre and insulting Extreme Makeover promotion, they've maintained the weirdness levels of their sinister series of invitations with 'Love En Route'.
To save you a click, this NINETEEN MINUTE promotional film follows the whacky adventures of an unnamed American who travels to Thailand to forget an unspecific episode of heartbreak, ostensibly by stalking a young Thai woman (Pim) and vaguely coercing her into the world's most awkward friendship.
Yes, to get over what was presumably a recent failed episode of stalking in some other country, the American starts to show up at each place that Pim takes a photo of and via the medium of pained expressions and never leaving her alone, somehow worms his way into her affections. Because what unaccompanied female traveler doesn't like an entitled dreamer plotting her every move without her knowledge, tracking her down and then forcing her to talk about her emotions while staring at rural mist?
Hey, ladies. THIS GUY:
To save you a click, this NINETEEN MINUTE promotional film follows the whacky adventures of an unnamed American who travels to Thailand to forget an unspecific episode of heartbreak, ostensibly by stalking a young Thai woman (Pim) and vaguely coercing her into the world's most awkward friendship.
Yes, to get over what was presumably a recent failed episode of stalking in some other country, the American starts to show up at each place that Pim takes a photo of and via the medium of pained expressions and never leaving her alone, somehow worms his way into her affections. Because what unaccompanied female traveler doesn't like an entitled dreamer plotting her every move without her knowledge, tracking her down and then forcing her to talk about her emotions while staring at rural mist?
Hey, ladies. THIS GUY:
He's like Christian Grey for the backpacking community - instead of bellying up to the DIY store you work at, he'll be peaking at you from behind a reclining Buddha and driving his Volkswagon Pass-Ag straight into that holiday you planned so that you could take time to yourself and reflect for one minute. Sadly, The Need With No Name has decided, from the soulless luxury of his Bangkok hotel room, that "It would be nice for us to meet". So that's THAT settled, then!
Shifty Shades of Grey sets off in hot pursuit, finally tracking her down on a boat where he can sidle up to her in full SCUBA gear. He asks if she's the owner of the Instagram account (of course let's presume she speaks English, not sure what his plan was if she didn't) and EVEN IN THIS FANTASY WORLD she tells him she isn't because everyone on the project presumably feels we at least need a nod to how insanely creepy this is. He's got the wrong girl. Only he knows he hasn't because HE KNOWS EVERY LITTLE DETAIL ABOUT HER AND PROCEEDS TO PROVE IT.
Shifty Shades of Grey sets off in hot pursuit, finally tracking her down on a boat where he can sidle up to her in full SCUBA gear. He asks if she's the owner of the Instagram account (of course let's presume she speaks English, not sure what his plan was if she didn't) and EVEN IN THIS FANTASY WORLD she tells him she isn't because everyone on the project presumably feels we at least need a nod to how insanely creepy this is. He's got the wrong girl. Only he knows he hasn't because HE KNOWS EVERY LITTLE DETAIL ABOUT HER AND PROCEEDS TO PROVE IT.
Thai boat operator, one of he few voices of reason in this film, calls laughing boy out, but only so he can go on to defend himself. "I'm not a stalker. I'm a follower," he says, quickly avoiding eye contact. The first phrase he then asks the boat guy to teach him in Thai is, "Come with me and you will be safe". He practises this before invading her space, captive as she is on the boat.
We then learn that Pim is on her trip to remember her recently dead sister. We see Pim pour her sister's ashes into the sea, and then enjoy 1.3 seconds of quiet spiritual reflection before Stalking Heads is all I FOUND PLACES FOR US TO GO FOR DINNER YOU HAVE TO COME WITH ME NOW YOU WILL BE SAFE. He then manipulates a crowd of street urchin children and says his outrageous Thai lie about not flirting. Art direction note: Pim has now taken to wearing an Iron Mike Tyson t-shirt, a particularly worrying development. By monopolising the only car out of town, our hero has in any case inserted himself into Pim's journey of remembrance, and off they go hiking, presumably because at this point it's way too tiring to resist.
En route they stare into rural mist and Pim cries about her sister and he casually takes a surreptitious photo of her crying. But it's OK because NOW YOU WILL BE SAFE and Pim realises she is in love while a baby elephant holds her selfie stick. Our hero's feelings are more ambiguous, though he does say he thanks Pim for helping him fall in love with Thailand, so she does get SOME credit. Just time for a balloon ride before the denouement of awkward at Bangkok Airport, where Pim's feelings are winkled out with the now-customary levels of tact.
Put on the spot, Pim Cup impressively stays strong and keeps her counsel for all of a minute before blabbing it all out in a soppy Instagram post to give our now-departing Man in a Cyan Star Trek Uniform justification for the entire trip, and presumably the impetus to go ahead and stalk other vulnerable women the world over. How do you say COME WITH ME NOW YOU WILL BE SAFE in every language, Google?
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